An Unexpected Journey

This is by far the hardest post I have ever had to write - so much to say and yet some things I do not want to think about at this moment.  

A week ago today, so much changed. My very good friend and neighbor, Lucille, called me to come to the hospital where I was told that Anthony, her 16 month old son was with Jesus.  Even as I type this I relive these moments.

Anthony was a special boy. I was blessed to be able to watch him when Lucille had to return to the hospital after his birth. We have shared in some special moments - I remember holding him and getting him to sleep by rubbing his forehead just like I did Em & Matt and singing "Jesus Loves Me". He made me relearn many SS songs. 

This summer the kids and I spent a lot of time with him and Lucille at their pool.  God blessed the kids and I as we got to see him the Thursday night before this all happened. 

Truly life has changed for so many. The past 6 days were filled with so much and today is a week from the time this all happened.

I cannot tell you the details of what the days have held as so much has happened and I just am unable to emotionally.

What I can tell you are the amazing things. 

Lucille is a very new believer and in the midst of this tragedy she has relied on and shown her faith to all who have seen her.  When I am with her, even I gain a strength from her to be able to just be there and support her in the moment she is in, no matter what that moment brings.  

Dave and I have been able to be there not only for Lucille but her husband, James, and their two boys James and Michael. 

Oh so many things come to mind to say and yet if I start this post will never end.

On the eve of my 45th birthday, I expressed that this year I wanted to do what God wanted for me to do - not me, all Him.  Little did I know how He would choose to shape this total dependence on Him. 

I can tell you I am so honored to be able to be by Lucille, James and the boys side, to be in this journey with them. God is being glorified through all of this...even though the "why" is still not answered or understood.

With this I have to close, my mind is reeling with things to say but it is all getting jumbled in my head and I just don't think I can get it all out making sense.

Please continue to pray for Lucille, James, James and Michael. For comfort and strength to get through each second, minute, hour and day. Pray that God will continue to be glorified and that Dave and I will continue to be used in a way that brings God honor and glory. 

For those of you who have been praying, thank you those prayers have been felt. 

With this, I must close.

Fall is here, but where is it?

I know in past posts I've made you all aware of how much I love the fall season.

In my world when school starts, it initiates the beginning of good things to come.

Already I can indulge in a pumpkin donut and coffee from Dunkin' Donuts.  A trip to Starbucks can yield a pumpkin spice latte. 

Today I found more "fall" finds at the food store and Walmart.  If you have not tried the Thomas' Pumpkin Spice bagels, you must!! They are delicious but I must warn you they are a "limited edition" bagel so once you get hooked they will be taken off the shelf until fall returns next year. My other find was Ziegler's apple cider.  Oh, how I love cider! The smell of cider steeping with mulling spices is a scent I would bottle if I could.  Okay, a candle probably smells like it but you can't drink a candle.  

Now, there is a small "fall" problem. I have searched 3 of my local food stores (Shop N Stop, Shop Rite, and Walmart) for pumpkin flavored coffee creamer without success. "Where or where?" or more like "when oh when?" will Coffee Mate and International Delight get their pumpkin creamer production in action. 

Yes, I know I can get pumpkin flavored coffee beans but I personally like regular coffee with the flavored creamer. I am anxiously awaiting its arrival and will continue to scour the stores until I find it.  After all, once its in stock, I can save money making my coffee at home and that money saved will buy more cider and bagels.  :) 

A Touch of Fall

I was trying to wait until Saturday and the first day of Autumn to start my fall decorating but I just couldn't wait.  

Pinterest has been an excellent source for finding new centerpiece arrangements.  

I purchased this footed pedestal "vase" (one I can use over and over again for other arrangements) and a wide pedestal candle. The candle wasn't the height I was looking for so I did a little "tweaking". Under the candle, I placed two small Styrofoam wreaths bringing it to my preferred height. I then poured in corn kernels which encircled the Styrofoam and also filled the middle of the wreaths just to give the candle more stability.  I placed the candle on top of the corn and then added the acorns (a Hobby Lobby birthday purchase) around it. The candle is from Walmart and it is scented "apple cider" and smells very yummy.

For the sideboard, I used the fall colored hydrangeas I had from last year. I did add the new "falling" orange flowers. In the base of the vase, I used coffee beans to secure the stems in their place.

Right now my dining room smells like coffee and apple cider.  Yummy!

Emily's Point of View

Today when Emily got home from school I went through her student planner and books just to see what she had to accomplish for the evening. I'm trying to take the reigns off and let her become more personally responsible for getting her work done and quizzes & tests studied for.  

I don't know why I looked in her spelling composition book seeing her spelling workbook was also there and the list of words she needed to study were in the workbook. I guess I was just being lead to look at it.

I opened to the page last written on and it was a paragraph which I thought was a bit odd seeing this is where she writes sentences using the spelling words. Then I read the title and I knew why I was lead to open this. Here is what Emily wrote. 

Always Put Together

My mom does crafts for people. She makes picture cubes, billboards, and more.

She uses paint, stickers, tape, string, and others. I love my mom's creative work!

When she delivers her work to people, she gets $25! I love the way that 

mom is. If you want to get one of my mom's crafts go to Facebook and 

put in Always Put Together and she'll make the craft you want. 

I cannot tell you how good this made me feel. Crafting is something I enjoy doing! Slowly it is turning into a small business. I've mentioned to the kids when I am working on projects and they have seen the bulletin boards ("billboards") I've created at church and now at their school.  Occasionally, when I am on the computer, they might ask what I am doing and most of the time it is blogging on either this blog or my other "crafting" blog Always Put Together.  At times, I've wondered what they think of all of this and if they feel it takes time away from them (I've only just put a limit to my "working" hours). Apparently, it is something Emily is proud of. 

What I love is her comment about how I get $25 when I deliver my work - that is the cost I charge just for the banners - I'm still trying to figure out how to charge for bulletin boards. 

I also love that she has become a major source of advertising for me - "she'll make the craft you want".

All I know is that I was lead to read this.  I have been debating on where to take this whole "crafting" adventure for a while now and I have to say this "message" lets me know that my daughter is proud of the work I do and who I am. In my book, that is priceless. 

Another Truck/Car Event

Saturday, Matt got a bit of a surprise on what his evening would entail.  

I have a friend, Dawn, who knows Matthew's OBSESSION with Monster trucks.  Her husband is able to get tickets to some car/truck events and was able to get two extra tickets for the event that was being held in Englishtown, NJ Saturday night. 

Dave didn't tell Matt about what they were doing until they went to pick up the tickets from my friend Saturday morning.  The boys left around 3 p.m. and got home after 1 a.m. 

It was a long night but they had a great time. 

Jeans & High Heels

Emily loves posing

Saturday night while the boys went to their car/truck event, Emily and I went and did some shopping for fall clothing.  Emily & Matt's growth spurts this year have made their fall clothes a wee bit short in length. 

Emily is still very much a "skirt girl" but I asked her if she wanted to a least try on a pair of jeans. She said "okay" and actually liked them. So, I bought one pair just in case her "liking" of them is short lived. I think the last time Emily wore a pair of jeans she was 4 or 5 years old.

On Sunday morning, she surprised her dad by being dressed in them for church (our church picnic was after the morning service).  He was surprised!

One of the other things we shopped for was a pair of high heels for me. Emily is constantly telling me I need high heels.  I told her I do have them but she said "wedge heels don't count". So, I surprised her by taking her to a shoe store to help me pick out my fall heels.  One thing I've always known about Emily is she loves shoes that sparkle. On this shopping trip, she made sure to let me know that there is no age exception for wearing sparkly shoes. In the end, I bought two pair of heels because it was just impossible to choose between the two.  

Emily is very excited that I finally have high heels - not wedges! She was a little disappointed that I didn't wear them Sunday to church but I was dressed to be able to go to the church picnic after and high heels and parks don't mix......although Emily does want me to be wearing heels poolside next summer.  Funny girl!

To the Parents of.....

Today in the mail I received a letter addressed "To the Parents of Kathleen Wessel. 

When I first looked at it, I "misread" it. We get quite a few letters "To the Parents of Emily Wessel" that when I scanned this envelope my mind kind of  mentally corrected it thinking it was in regard Emily.  Then, as I looked at it again prior to opening it, I realize that it said my name. How weird?

I didn't bother looking to see who it was from I just went ahead and opened it and had to laugh.  

I've been invited to travel and study in Ireland, Wales, England and France in the summer of 2013 along with other junior high school students. Oh, to be a junior higher again but then the year would have to be 1980/81 - only 32 years ago. Ouch that hurts looking at that number!!

I would love to go ahead and travel the summer abroad but I don't think I'd pass for a junior higher nor would junior high students want to be with me. Also, I think Dave, Emily and Matt would not appreciate me leaving for the summer to travel and "learn".  It did make for a good laugh!  

Matt...happy at last!!!

To say Matt LOVES Angry Birds is a total understatement. 

His obsession as of late, his NEED to get a pig.....but not a big pig one the same "size" as his birds. Matt has tried every arcade "grabber" game in his quest to obtain a pig.

Well, a friend of mine had gotten Emily a small gift and she wanted to do something for Matt so I told her about his "quest" for a pig and she got him one.

Yesterday when I got the pig, I put it on Matt's bed waiting with the birds for him to come home from school. I stood in the kitchen watching him walk to his room. Emily sidetracked him by going gaga over her gift. Then, I saw him head into his room which was followed by a huge gasp and then the sound of crying. He came out of his room, arms wide open, crying saying, "thank you, thank you so much" over and over.  I told him that I was glad he was happy but I didn't buy it for him my friend, Kim, did.  He said to me, "Tell her thank you, thank you so much". He was so overwhelmed with thanks I had him call her and leave her a message.  What I loved most was that he told her it made him "happy cry".  

It was fun hearing him in his room having a conversation between his birds and his new pig.  Little Matthew is happy at last!!

Sorry....so long

It has been a few days since I have blogged and it is not for lack of wanting but lack of time.  I've been very busy working on home and craft projects (check them out at my other blog Always Put Together ) during the day. Then, the kids started AWANA Wednesday night and last night was Back to School Night at HCS.

Our Tribute

Today on the way to school the kids and I talked about the significance of today.  How people went to work that September morning not knowing what it would bring. How people who don't like our country decided to hurt us and many people died that day. How when the towers were struck people went to help those inside and in the end many of them sacrificed their lives.  I explained that today is a day to remember the people who died and those who loved them, the people who sacrificed their lives in service of others and the people who protect our country every day in the armed forces. 

Also, it is a day for us to thank God that on that day, their daddy came home.  

As I finished my workout in the park, my heart was speaking.  I want the kids to know that we should thank and serve those who serve us. In that moment, my "lightbulb" went off and I was off to Walmart. While the kids were at school, I baked several batches of chocolate chip cookies. After I picked them up from school, we headed to our town police department to give them our "thank you" of cookies. Sadly our fire departments are volunteer because I would have liked to "thank" them too.

My reason for this post is not for you to applaud us for what we did but to let you know that I realize as Emily and Matt's mother it is my responsibility to nurture and train my children.  It is the God given blessing I received at their birth. My kids will not learn unless they are taught and it is my job as their mother to be their example not only in word but in action.  It is in serving others where we can find the greatest joy and I want them to experience that...... not looking for something in return but just having a heart overflowing with joy having made someone feel appreciated and loved.  My hope would be that next year when they hear this day is upon us they will be reminded of our "thank you" and want to serve again but also that this moment will build in them the desire to love and serve others every day of their lives.

Remembering

Today is a day for remembering what happened 11 years ago. 

I can recall it like it was yesterday. All those unknown moments of wondering where Dave was in the city knowing he took the Path train right into the heart of the towers.  As I type this my recollections of that day make my heart beat faster with the anxiety I felt that day.

Dave was already away from the buildings when the planes hit but I knew the heart of my volunteer fire fighter husband and although he had called to say he was okay it was prior to the towers falling. When I heard of their collapse, I wondered if  he had gone to help and couldn't be at peace until he called me again saying he was still okay and trying to come home. 

Its a day I never want to relive but in the end I was blessed that day, my husband came home so many people did not come home.

When I think of that day, I think of Emily.  Nine months after that awful day she was born.  I think of God's protection. He protected Dave so that he could be a Father to this little girl. 

Today I choose to remember all those who were lost that day, all those who have given their lives in sacrifice to protect my freedom and my God who is the great Protector and who is in control. 

Porcupine Meatballs

Tonight's dinner is one that I'm again calling my own again as I've been making it for so long and I don't remember where the recipe came from.  I think there are many versions out there but this is our family's favorite.

This is another recipe where I was able to prep a portion of it prior to getting the kids from school so it could "simmer" for the required hour and not make it where we were eating too late - seeing we get home from school pickup a little later.

Here is the recipe:

Porcupine Meatballs (Serves 4-6 - I was able to make 15 meatballs from this recipe)

1/2 cup uncooked rice
1/2 cup water
1/3 cup chopped onion (optional - no "crunchies" for Matt so we omit them)
1 tsp salt (I use about a 1/2 tsp)
1 tsp celery salt
1/8 tsp pepper
1/8 tsp garlic powder
1 lb. meatloaf mix (beef, pork, veal) just our preference although today I only used beef and pork
1 15oz can tomato sauce
1 cup water
2 tbsp brown sugar
2 tbsp Wocestershire sauce

Preheat oven the 400 degrees.

In a bowl, combine the 1st seven ingredients. Add meat and mix well. Shape into 1 - 1/2 inch balls. Place on baking sheet. Bake at 400 for 12 mins.  (You could also saute these but I prefer baking them and omitting some of the fat that is produced by the meat.) Place meatballs in a large deep skillet.

Combine tomato sauce, brown sugar, water and worcestershire sauce in a bowl; pour over meatballs in the skillet.  Bring to a boil; reduce heat, cover and simmer for 1 hour.  Enjoy!!!

This reminds me a lot of the meat mixture you find inside of a stuffed green pepper and the tomato sauce that it is baked in just no green pepper taste for those who are not "into" them. Wonder who I could mean by that?  

Emily's Time at the Wheel

Recently, I read an excellent book Cleaning House about ridding children of youth entitlement. 

One important thing I took from this book is that many times we help our children when they don't necessarily need it.  In the name of love, we try and keep them from having hurt feelings and/or the hurt of failure when we know as Christians that it is in our failures that we seek God most (although our seeking should be at all times). I started to wonder if I have kept or taken away some of the blessings my children would have received from God if I had not stepped in.  Now, don't get me wrong I am not saying throw them into pure chaos and hope all goes okay but are we doing too much?

Emily - our first born child.  She has been our road map for parenting.  God made a slight diversion for us on her road map when after she finished PreK 4 we had her evaluated due to her delay in speech, comprehension and social skills. Making that call was not an easy one but God gave us the push needed through the gentle nudging of an amazing teacher who loved Emily. 

I had heard about people fighting desperately to get special ed services for their child so when we went to our first meeting I came with a binder filled with information regarding Emily - I was ready for battle. I've come to realize that God went into that room before us and already won the battle. Emily was given the most amazing case worker. She was with her from that first meeting and has been with her to the end of her enrollment in the Lodi special ed program - we will miss her.  

At that first meeting, Emily was approved to start in a specialized program through the South Bergen Jointure that summer. Dave and I were thrilled that there was something for her and we knew we had to do everything in our power to benefit her. Through that entire journey God was ahead of us and Emily. Emily was placed into a high functioning autistic inclusion program that was just being started in the fall of her Kindergarten year. Later that year, we found out that all six slots for that class were filled but a parent decided at the last minute to not advance her child and all the personnel suggested Emily based on that 1 month of summer school after her evaluation. God is good! She has an amazing teacher and aides for her 2 years there. 

When Emily was mainstreamed back into general education, God was again making the way. This was the first time we had any "opposition" in what we felt was right for Emily and that was to repeat 1st grade. They did approve what we suggested and praise God Emily's performance that year showed them this was the right choice. Her 1st grade teacher was everything she needed to make that crucial transition and she will always have a special place in our hearts. Emily continued to show major progress in 2nd and 3rd grade.

During all this time, I have to admit I was Emily's safety net.  I made sure she was doing things correctly.  I was there by her side checking......keeping her from any kind of failure and when it did happen (she did get a few low grades and her 1st F last year) we worked together harder. Emily still managed to end the year with all A's & B's. But did I help too much?

Because of how far Emily progressed and knowing it was God's wanting, we enrolled her in HCS this year.  She will be being evaluated for a new IEP by a new team and we will have a new caseworker but I know God has got that!

So, now comes the big change. Time for Emily to take the wheel. Tonight, Emily had her first major night of homework. She proudly told me that while Matt and I were vegging together she did her home work. I asked her about the History and Bible quiz she has later in the week and she confidently told me "I know it". Then, I asked if she wanted me to check her math or to let it go in as is and she said "I did it mom, let it go". The time has come to let her steer her own boat and for me to step off. Emily's confidence is strong and I need to show her that I trust in her confidence as much as she does. Yes, I will keep track of quiz & test dates, and I'll ask her if she wants or needs help but it is time to let her learn from her own work and to be blessed in the ways God wants to bless her.  No, if the grades take a plummet, I'm not going to let it go unnoticed but I will work with her to find out how she can turn it around and how she can change things.....it is time for her to be the captain of her own boat and to stand up fearlessly in the face of things and know that she has a family that is beside her and a God that will guide her through but not walk her walk that is up to her!

I remember this trip as if it was yesterday - it was 2007 and Matt's 2nd birthday.Dave surprised us with a trip in a sail boat. I remember the fearlessness of Emily as she stood at the side as the boat was half way on its side riding the waves. Today, I saw and heard that same fearlessness. I know I can let her steer this boat, I'll just be on the radio if she needs me.

First "Week" of School

The reviews are in and the kids are both loving their new school.  

Dave and I knew God was leading us to send them to HCS and He has provided for us to do so but you never know how your child will react to a new school.  

Thankfully, the building is not that "new" to them as they have attended summer camp there the two previous summers and we also did attend that church when the kids were very, very young.  What also made it "easier" is that both Emily and Matt have kids in each of their classes who they currently attend church with at Bible Baptist.  

Emily loves her new class which is smaller and according to her "so much quieter". She really likes her new teacher, Mr. Kline, and is very excited about the year.  She gives school a thumbs up.

Emily is missed at her old school.  The girl she calls her "best friend" from Washington School called my cell phone wondering why Emily hasn't been at school.  I had to tell her that she is going to a new school but Emily still wants to "hang out" (we are passed the play date term) with her.  Her friend was happy to hear about future plans & I told her Emily would call her to set something up soon (she was still in school at the time of the call).  Emily was so glad to hear that her friend called and missed her.  

Matt said, "I would give it 500 thumbs up but I don't have that many fingers".  He loves his new classmates and teacher but confessed that he does miss his old teachers and friends at Washington School. I did ask him who from his new class he would want over for a play date and he said "all of them" - that's a good sign!

All in all it has been a smooth transition. The kids have adjusted well to the new wake up and pick up times, their new classmates, teachers and curriculum.  Next week, we will see how they acclimate to the homework schedule when it is in full swing.  We are considering this week a success!!  

HCS Bulletin Board - Done!

Today was the day!!! I finally completed the bulletin board at Emily and Matt's new school, Hackensack Christian Schools (HCS). About two and a half weeks ago - just before our PA vacation, I put up the original 8 elements and realized there was just too much bare space. So, I decided to add the theme for this school year "Looking unto Jesus" and a portion of the Bible verse where it is found. I knew adding that would make the board bottom heavy so I cut out some smaller "game tiles" and the alphabet as a border for the top. I have to say I am pleased with the outcome and feel privileged to be able to contribute to the kid's school using the talent that I know I have been richly blessed with by God.  

Dinner!!! One of our favorites

In my book, summer is officially "over" with the start of school. What does that mean? It is time to get back into the cooking habit which was going so well before our vacation to PA.

Tonight we are having one of our favorites - Italian Mini Meatloaves.  I will be honest and say I don't remember where I got this recipe from but I've served it so many time I've claimed it as my own. I'm happy to say that it has been liked by almost everyone who has sampled it.

I wanted to make something quick tonight as my kids are getting home from school a little later and homework was a possibility.  What I love about this recipe is that you can prep it earlier in the day and just refrigerate until you are ready to bake them - which is what I did today.

The recipe makes 7 mini meatloaves which feeds this family of four (we usually have 1 and a half loaves left over) so of course, you can adjust it to whatever serving amounts you need.

Here is the recipe:

Italian Mini Meatloaves

1 egg, beaten 

1/3 c plain panko bread crumbs (you can use whatever bread crumb you prefer)  

1/4 cup milk

1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese (I use freshly grated parm)

1/8 cup finely chopped onion (my son doesn't like "crunchies" so we omit this)

1/2 tsp. worcestershire sauce

1/2 tsp. garlic salt

1/2 tsp. Italian seasoning

1 lb. meatloaf mix (beef,veal, pork - of course, you can use whatever meat combo you like, we just prefer the taste of this most of all)

Ketchup, parmesan and Italian seasoning for topping

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl, combine egg, breadcrumbs, milk, parmesan, onion, worcestershire, garlic salt and Italian seasoning. Add meat and mix well (we use our hands - best mixers ever!) Shape into individual meatloaves; place in a large greased shallow baking dish. Spread ketchup over the loaves (I squirt it on the meatloaf tops right from the squeeze bottle) and spread.  Sprinkle with parmesan and Italian seasoning. Bake at 350 for 50 - 60 mins.

Enjoy! We did - paired with backed beans and fresh cherry tomatoes.

A "Normal" Day

As you know, yesterday was the first day of school for Emily and Matt. I thought I would hit the ground running dropping them off at school then coming home to craft. Of course, I told all of you about running unnecessary errands instead in order to avoid coming home to the silence. 

Today was a whole new day.  I dropped the kids off at school, came home (didn't even stop for coffee), did 3 miles on the treadmill while my first load of laundry was in the washer, threw that load in the dryer, started the next, steamed some spinach my neighbor gave me from his garden, prepped dinner for tonight and headed to my craft room.  

I've already been asked to help with several more projects beside the ones already on my "to do" list. Since school is back in session, my time is a little more "free" to craft/"work". Today, I finished some additional elements I need for the bulletin board at the kids school, HCS, and also cut the pieces I need for a christening banner due in October. Ye, of course, I used my Cricut (best birthday gift I ever) to cut out all the items but it still takes time. Tomorrow, I will be able to finish the bulletin board and then get started on my next project - 3 icons for the Ipad canvas.  

I can't tell you how good it feels to be back at "work"! Oh, I got 4 loads of laundry completed too.....it was a good day!!

Another 1st for the History Books

Today was the day! First day of school!  Its hard to believe that Emily is in Fourth Grade and Matthew is in Second. 

The kids both woke up with their alarms and hit the ground running - well, Matt had to do several stretches first.  I had told both of them before going to bed that when they woke up they needed to eat breakfast, get dressed and make their lunches - no DS, no TV, no Wii (summer is over).  

Emily was done with breakfast before Matthew even started. Matt and I decided his lunch options while he was eating breakfast. When he was done, he turned to me and said "now what?" I told him "get dressed" to which he relied "oh, right!" He was dressed very quickly even with socks and shoes.  Emily got her lunch together after getting dressed. It was a little strange because Matt was actually ready before Emily - that is a rarity. Both kids were ready to go out the door with their backpacks at 7:30. I can't believe I actually had to tell them to slow down and relax.

Of course, we had to take our first day of school pictures.  Sadly, the weather here was a little gloomy and gray so we took the annual photos indoors in front of the fireplace.

All smiles!!

Matthew is such a schmoozer!  While packing his lunch, he decided that he wanted to take one of the cookies we baked yesterday to Mrs. Horn, the school Principal. As soon as we walked in the school doors, he was searching her out. He found her and presented her with his "gift". He also told me that he shared another cookie with his new teacher, Miss Brown. This really didn't surprise me as Matthew shared a lot of his snack with his teacher last year. Both he and Emily love to give. A trait I hope they continue the rest of their lives.

When I picked the kids up from school, they were both very happy. Emily told me all about the time line they will be doing and was asking her teacher, Mr. Kline, when they would be starting it.  She was asking for homework already - crazy girl!  

Matt wanted to show me the pull down map he has in his classroom and the behavior sticks. You get four each day and can lose them for bad behavior.  He also showed me the responsibility chart and his "job".  I couldn't seem to get them to leave which isn't a bad thing.

I did find out that Emily, during recess, did have a moment of being upset but thankfully an older friend who knows her from church and now attends the school came over to see if she was alright. I am so happy she was there for her.

Tonight we headed out for our annual "back to school" dinner.  Dave has a work function this evening so the kids and I went to Friendly's to celebrate - after all you get a meal and a treat all in one place.  

We came home where Matt did a quick page and a half of homework (cursive writing here we come) and now both kids are getting some technology time before some quiet time and reading.  

It was a great first day and we are all looking forward to the year to come!!!

   

Who Would Have Thought?

Yesterday I told you how I am not an emotional mom but I get my slaps of reality here and there. 

Today was the first day of school.  I won't lie, I was looking forward to the kids going to school so that I could get back those hours in the day to craft and create.

Dave & I took the kids to school for their opening. It was wonderful to have the whole school - faculty, students and parents - together starting their year off with a Biblical focus and prayer.  Once the kids were dismissed, the parents were invited to stay for bagels and coffee in order to meet each other.  I was able to meet the mother and aunt of a girl who is starting this year at HCS in Emily's class. I was also able to catch up with the mother of another girl in 5th grade who I attended MOPS with when our girls were younger. 

My intention was to come home after 2 errands and get started on a few elements need for the HCS bulletin board. While at the 3rd store, I started to feel it - that little tugging on my heart.  When I reached my fourth store (you do realize I said only 2 errands) the reality slap came full force, I texted my friend, Debbie, and admitted something I never thought I would - "I miss my kids". Here I was procrastinating going home to the silence. What is this? This can't be happening!! 

I realized that there are two parts to this "missing" feeling. The first part is my motherly concern that they are liking their new school and fitting in.  Dave & I know this was the right decision sending them to HCS, we felt God leading us to do so and making it possible but it is new to the kids.  I want them to be happy they are there!  

The other part is that this is the first summer I've spent the entire summer with the kids.  Emily started a special education summer program when she completed PreK4 and we also involved her in day camp. Matt started in a day care program that include a few days during the summer too when he was very young. Then, the last two summers both kids attended Cornerstone Day Camp and Summer Fun programs at First Baptist Church in Hackensack.  This summer we decided it was best financially to not involve them in any summer programs.  It was the first full summer I had with them and I have to say I think we had a lot of fun.

So, today I have found myself in moments of loneliness and missing my kids.  No, no tears have come but my heart has been wrung out and when I pick them up from school today and tell them "I missed you".....I won't be just saying that, I have truly felt it! 

The Eve Before School

What do you do on the "eve" before school starts?

First, you declare the night before that tomorrow is "Trial Tuesday", send the kids to bed by 9 and set alarms for 7 a.m. The kids are attending a new school this year and their start time is 8:10.  Last year their start time was 8:40. We are also attempting to have the kids wake up to their own alarm clocks.  Matt's went off earlier than 7. Emily was out of bed like a bolt.  Matt was out of his bed and laying  on his floor - that is still out of bed!!

Second, head to the doctor to get yearly checkups. After all, you need to have those documents in hand when you step into school.

Third, grocery shopping. When you've been away on vacation the week before school starts you come home to an empty fridge.  Supplies for school lunches are a must.  I have to say I am looking forward to doing the food shopping alone again. Plus I KNOW the bill will be much less seeing little hands won't be adding items to the cart. :)

Fourth, have the kids clean their rooms while you get the house in order. Once again, being on vacation the week before gets you a little behind on housework.  Plus, the kids need clean spaces to chill and do home work now that school is back in session. The many unnecessary papers are tossed to make room for the year of paper that will fill our home. 

Fifth, make a treat to eat now and pack in the lunch boxes. 

The kids were happy to help in the making of some "lazy cake cookies".  Emily melted the butter while Matt cracked the eggs and beat them. Both of them helped in putting in the mini chocolate chips and mini m&m's. They enjoyed licking the bowl clean and were very happy to sample the finished product. 

Sixth, continue with a little more clean up and get uniforms ready. Emily already had her uniform out and ready early this morning. Matt, well, I pulled  his out for him.

Seventh, get in as much Wii as you possibly can because you know that after today it will only be a weekend occurrence and an "achieved" privilege on a weekday. 

Eighth, you get all the items for your lunch tomorrow pulled and put together in the fridge for lunch box transfer in the morning.  

Finally, you get in you pj's and watch some TV until you are told "time for bed".

It has been a very full and busy "eve" before school. Now we just have to pray that sleep comes easily for both kids. Tomorrow starts a whole new adventure - 4th grade for Emily and 2nd grade for Matt. 

How Ironic!!

Earlier today I blogged about how quickly the kids were growing up - literally!

Today the kids each had to do some organizing of their rooms in preparation for the busyness of school starting and the new "work" they would be bringing home. While I was working in the kitchen, Emily came to show me this scrapbook page she had made of her and Matt at the beginning of Spring. What she wrote under the picture is so poignant for today's event "Growing Up like flowers".

I like her take on it so much better than the familiar saying "growing like weeds".  After all, I pray that as they grown up they become caring, loving people who encourage and uplift others and not mean, choking people who hurt and damage others. 

Oh How They've Grown

I'm not an overly emotional mother. A case in point would be that when Matt (our youngest child) started Kindergarten, I didn't cry as he walked into school - he did though and that did tug at my heart but I pushed him in the door. Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with a mother showing emotion, I'm just saying that isn't me. It isn't out of lack of love for my children, they are my heart, but I live in the moment. 

Yes, I reflect on the past and see how far they have come and the strides they have made and it brings me great joy but I don't dwell in the past. I know that "life" means growing up and entering new and different stages. 

What does happen to me are "slaps of reality".  They come in the strangest of ways and times.  Today, I had such a slap.  

Today's slap came courtesy of their Pediatrician. Emily and Matthew had their annual checkups. Well, the nurse weighed them and measured them and there it was, the slap.  Both kids in the last year have grown 3 3/4 inches.  Its funny people tell us all the time how tall the kids are when we say there ages but living with them I just don't see it.  The nurse turned to me and said "Emily is 4'9"". What?  No!!!!  Okay, I knew she was gaining on me in height (5'2"+a little) but this means that she needs to grow just 4 more inches and she will pass me by and she is only 10 and 3 months.  Then she told me "Matt is 4'2" What? No!!! That means that one more foot and an inch and he will pass me too and he is only 7. 

I remember back to when I was a kid.  I got to about 4" something and stopped.  My Uncle when he came to visit asked me when I was going to grown and I told him very matter of fact "Saturday".  Well not too many Saturday's came as I only got to the 5"2' mark.  I also remember when my brothers became taller than my mother and her scolding them from "below".  It was funny as a kid to see but now as I am going to be the mother in the situation, I am not finding it so funny. 

It was just a slap. A slap of growing up.  Emily is changing what seems ever so quickly into a young lady.  Oh the moods that come in waves!  She keeps telling me "I'm almost a teenager" and me I say not yet, living in the moment of 10.  Matt he is changing too but still remains my little comic relief.  

On a side note, both kids are healthy and doing well.  Emily was most upset to find out she had to get 2 shots (a 2nd stage of HepA and a pox booster) thankfully her doctor did them asap to get them "out of the way".  We are very thankful that they are growing healthy and strong. 

Me? I know there will be more slaps along the way and I am sure in the year (hopefully two) to come I will be the mom being looked down on at at least one of my kids. 

Oh how I missed you!!!

Today we returned home from a fun filled 7 day vacation on Lake Wallenpaupack in PA.  What a great time!  

What made me smile most as I walked in the door? The Keurig coffee maker.  

No, seriously!!!  This past week I've had to make full pots of coffee each morning. I was brutally reminded that unless I have a pre-packed 12 cup coffee package, I fail at making coffee. Also, the amount I wasted making those prepacked packages just makes me sad.  So, I bid a happy "hello" to my Keurig which makes me my perfectly blended one cup of hot coffee several times a day.  

Now, I do have to tell you that about 7 miles from our lakeside resort "home away from home" was a Dunkin Donuts but to try and explain or get two kids in the car upon rising to drive and get coffee just wasn't worth the aggrevation.

I did however partake of a cup here and there as I had to pass through the town. Those cups were lovingly sipped ever so slowly to make it last as long as possible.

There was another coffee option about 9 miles away. A small coffee shop called Cocoon. They make excellent lattes - hazelnut, cinnamon and maple spice were sampled personally. Cocoon is an intresting name I know. Well, here is the history.  The little building the coffee shop is housed in is outside of an old silk mill that has been converted into shops and offices.  Cocoon is where the silk worms were house for the silk mill. What a clever way to pay tribute to the place it once was.
Yes, I'm glad to be home and have my Keurig to provide my daily need for cups of coffee. 

My Birthday "Treat"

Today my birthday present from Dave was stopping on our way back home from our vacation in PA at my FAVORITE store - Hobby Lobby.

The people in the cars surrounding mine must have thought I was a certifiable when I started clapping uncontrollably as I saw the store in the distance. My excitement got even stronger as I pulled into the parking lot. I don't think I could get out of the car fast enough.

This store is awesome!  Their selection is CRAZY! I was able to get supplies I need for one of the banners I've been asked to do and a few other "items" to create some new treasures.  

I was taken back by all their fall items as fall is my favorite season.  The only "bad part" was that I would have liked to been there a little longer but I kept in mind that Dave and the kids were not as stoked about being there as I was - even though both kids did find a craft project to purchase (okay, Matt is more of a toy - but it was on sale). 

This was an awesome gift!! Thank you!!!