Home ..... Family ..... Need I Say More

On a recent trip with my friend Debbie to our favorite store, Hobby Lobby, I found and had to purchase this "plaque". It says, "Family ties are precious threads, no matter where we roam, they draw us close to those we love and pull our hearts toward home."

This is my desire for my children when it comes to our family/home. That when they are older and have families of their own their hearts will always have a special place for the home we provided. 

According to Webster's dictionary, home as a noun is defined as 1) the place where a person lives 2) a family living together in one building, house, etc. 3) a place where something normally or naturally lives or is located. When you look at this definition, it seems a little cold. Home is just a place where someone lives BUT home is so much more. Home should be a warm and inviting place. A place where you can be yourself and be loved unconditionally. A safe haven. 

I have to say that in the last year, my goal has been and still is to change the atmosphere of our home. For it not just to be the place where we live, but the place where we come to be loved, encouraged and accepted. 

I love our house. It is not overly big, it is just right for our family of 4 (okay, 5 counting Mr. Jingle). Dave has always given me free reign when it comes to decorating and being a bit on the OCD side our home has order (yes, I am one of those everything has a place kind of people). Our home is a building that provides specific human needs for our family - shelter, warmth, protection, etc. But what about the emotional needs of our family? Shouldn't our home definitely provide for those needs?! 

My idea of home changed dramatically after I read an article written with regard to how "home" is regarded by a child with special needs after a day of controlling themselves in the classroom. In the article, it spoke of how this child is expected to withhold and control the tendencies they naturally experience throughout their day. They hold themselves in check making sure what they are doing is "acceptable". When they come home, they need to come to a place that allows for them to be themselves. No longer needing to be "on guard". Whether it be in the form of a period of quiet time or busyness, they need time to decompress from that constant need of staying in check. When I read this what came to my mind is a safe haven.
Our families need to have a place to come and decompress after a day of being out in the world - kids from school and activities and adults alike from the workplace and other responsibilities. We all need a soft place to fall. Now, don't get me wrong this doesn't allow for family members especially children to become disrespectful and run rough shod over everyone in the home. The boundary of respect is a must but there should be that ease of being able to come home and just be quiet, maybe spill your guts, check out for a few moments, whatever it may be....time to regroup and know that that is okay.
My desire is for my husband and kids to know that when they are home they are loved and accepted for who they are at all times. Yes, behavior, especially with the kids, will dictate the peacefulness of the home but they will know they are always loved!
Bearing in mind this idea of our home being a safe haven, one of my goals going forward is to react less and listen more. As it says in James 1:19 "You must be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry." (NLT)  I tend to be quick to speak and when a certain tone is used quick to get a tone (angry) myself. My desire is to really listen to what I am being told, setting aside tones, to truly be able to help and encourage the one I am speaking with. Now, please understand that if it is one of my children their tone will be addressed but only after we've address the heart of situation at hand. Another verse I want to keep in mind is Proverbs 19:24 "Kind words are like honey - sweet to the soul and healthy for the body." (NLT)  How many times I myself have been hurt by words spoken to me. I pray that the words I use with my family will be ones that uplift, encourage and contribute to their well being.
A home can be just a building but I pray that never be the case for my home. I pray that it is always a safe haven for my husband, children and anyone who enters through its doors!
As always thanks for stopping by! 

"Is Santa real?"

This has been quite a summer! Little did I know that the kids being home from a camp program would result in so much change.

I knew this question would come one day "is Santa real?" and I have to admit I've been thinking about the whole Santa scenario since last year. There has been some guilt on my part of lying to the kids about a fictional jolly fat man in a red suit. For the last two years, the kids have been advised that Santa only brings them one gift, the rest are from Dave & me, family and friends. Yes, we do put out reindeer food, track Santa on Norad and leave out milk (eggnog) and cookies.  

Last year as the kids were a little older I was wondering if we should tell them the truth about Santa but decided not to broach it at the time.

Last week Matt made the decision to accept Jesus into his heart and Emily informed me that she had done so last year.  Matt has been asking a lot of questions on what being a Christian is and in our explanations we always talk about doing right, doing what God wants us to do and be. As a matter of fact, yesterday he had it set in his mind that we should live on a zoo.  When Emily said she did want to live on a zoo he responded, "If God wants us to live on a zoo, we have to live on a zoo, its what He wants." 

So today when the question came.....the thing that popped in my head, or should I say was spoken was "truth".  I asked them both if they wanted me to tell them the truth. They said yes and I asked again if they wanted the truth.  They insisted they wanted the truth.  

I told them about Saint Nicholas and how he cared and gave to the children (they told me they knew that from Veggie Tales).  I then told them that the Santa at the North Pole wasn't real - he is just a story.  

Immediately, Emily started the questions: "I thought you said he gives us one present, whose it from?"  "Who wrote the from Santa on the presents?" "Who ate the cookies and drank the eggnog?" I admitted to all of them "daddy and me". She seemed most appalled that we ate the cookies and drank the eggnog.  

I asked them if they were okay with knowing the truth and they said "sure".  Matt has decided though that we can still put out a plate of cookies for us all to eat.  

It was the recent talks of spiritual things that made me realize that it was time to be honest with the kids.  How can I teach them to trust in a God who loves them so much, believe in a Savior who died and rose again....all things they've never seen and yet in the season where the focus is on our Savior's birth, I'm telling them to believe in this unseen Santa. How can I lie to them and expect them to be honest with me? This whole Christian parent thing has taken a new turn for me along these last few months.  My gift of them is an honor and I need to gift them with the knowledge of an amazing God and none of that can be done in the midst of a lie.  

Christmas is definitely going to be different this year but better because our focus will be solely on the real reason of Christmas, the blessing we received and the blessing we can bestow upon others through the spirit of giving.