As most of you know, I'm a woman who thrives on routine and schedules. It is my comfort zone.
For the last 4 months, I've been thriving on a routine/schedule of the gym at 5 a.m., kids to school, house or bulletin board work during school time, a Friday afternoon craft class, school sport practice or games for Emily, homework, dinner, bedtime, repeat. The weekends tend to have their routines too but we do it together as family - one of the best "routines" (or I would say blessings) is the time we spend at church on Sunday with our church family.
Last Friday changed everything!! Friday was the last day of "routine" for the next week and a half with Christmas break beginning for my kids and the start of the Christmas holiday activities. Routine is basically out the window with the kids being off and Dave taking a few days of vacation during the holidays. For most people this would seem like a welcome change, but for someone like me it throws me into an abyss of confusion.
Already the housework has been put on a slight hold as trying to keep things "clean" with kids afoot seems impossible, laundry piled up (but thankfully is now under control), dinner has not been planned as a day off here and back to work the next makes meal planning a little crazy, and a trip to the food store for a full week of groceries seems long over due. My sleep seems to be being effected by this change as a few sleepless nights have fallen upon me which in turn has effected my workout routine - falling asleep at 3 doesn't mix well with rising at 4:30.
Today I was asked lovingly by a very good friend "what is going on with you?" I explained briefly the routine conundrum but told her I am truly trying to embrace what is happening. Yes, this is not my comfort zone at all but there has to be something that I am to learn or be blessed by in the midst of this state of "discomfort".
Her question made me think a little more this morning as I was getting ready for the day. Where has some of my joy gone? You see for the last 3 months very little has stopped me from my workout routine, a routine that has given me a lot of joy - joy of being with friends, getting healthy and stronger. Yet, for the last few weeks it has been a bit of a struggle to get going and more so this past week. Excuses are being made to not go, etc
In the conversation with my friend, she suggested I use the rest/quiet time I'm experiencing to set new goals. But what I had to think of first is what has changed over the time. You see it didn't take long for me to pinpoint the problem. Its been something I've know has been changing and not for the better. You see 4 months ago a part of that same routine was after I was blessed to workout my body, I would come home and "workout" my spiritual body by doing devotions, praying and reading God's Word in those quiet moments before the kids had to get up for school. I have to be honest and say that the last month that has not been in my routine. I started getting busier earlier in the morning, trying to fit in tasks before the kids rose.
My heart knows that this is where the source of my conundrum all starts. When I am not in tune with God, my life as organized as it may seem to others becomes a mess. God has been speaking to me through the messages of our pastor regarding living the life God wants us to live but how can I do that if I do not every day "check in" with him and find out what I am to do.
Its funny how God knows just how to get your attention in order to bring you back to where you NEED to be - in His will. For me, it is taking my order and making it disorder.
Now how do I know this is the case. Because God confirmed it today when I picked up the devotional "Jesus Is Calling" by Sarah Young. You see there He did teach me there was something to learn in this "rest" period of disrupted routines.
Here is the devotional:
"I am preparing you for what is on the road ahead, just around the bend. Take time to be still in My Presence so that I can strengthen you. The busier you become, the more you need this time apart with Me. So many people think that time spent with Me is a luxury they cannot afford. As a result, they live and work in their own strength - until that becomes depleted. Then they either cry out to Me for help or turn away in bitterness.
How much better is it to walk close to Me, depending on My strength and trusting Me in every situation. If you live in this way, you will do less but accomplish far more. Your unhurried pace of living will stand out in this rush-crazed age. Some people may deem you lazy, but many more will be blessed by your peacefulness. Walk in the Light with Me, and you will reflect Me to the watching world." - Isaiah 64:4; John 15:5; Psalm 36:9
You see God confirmed that the time I spend with Him is far more precious and brings His order to my life which results in want I want and that is to reflect and be a testimony for Him.
So even though my life of order and routine won't return until everyone is back to their respective schedules, I know I can bring a new order, a better order, one that will give me more joy than anything else by spending more time with my God.
Another thing I learned from this whole day of "revelation" is that God has blessed me with a few friends, sisters who can call me out in love, make me accountable for my actions, listen and encourage me to be the best me that God wants me to be. For that, I am so very grateful.
As always, thanks for stopping by!