Emily's Time at the Wheel

Recently, I read an excellent book Cleaning House about ridding children of youth entitlement. 

One important thing I took from this book is that many times we help our children when they don't necessarily need it.  In the name of love, we try and keep them from having hurt feelings and/or the hurt of failure when we know as Christians that it is in our failures that we seek God most (although our seeking should be at all times). I started to wonder if I have kept or taken away some of the blessings my children would have received from God if I had not stepped in.  Now, don't get me wrong I am not saying throw them into pure chaos and hope all goes okay but are we doing too much?

Emily - our first born child.  She has been our road map for parenting.  God made a slight diversion for us on her road map when after she finished PreK 4 we had her evaluated due to her delay in speech, comprehension and social skills. Making that call was not an easy one but God gave us the push needed through the gentle nudging of an amazing teacher who loved Emily. 

I had heard about people fighting desperately to get special ed services for their child so when we went to our first meeting I came with a binder filled with information regarding Emily - I was ready for battle. I've come to realize that God went into that room before us and already won the battle. Emily was given the most amazing case worker. She was with her from that first meeting and has been with her to the end of her enrollment in the Lodi special ed program - we will miss her.  

At that first meeting, Emily was approved to start in a specialized program through the South Bergen Jointure that summer. Dave and I were thrilled that there was something for her and we knew we had to do everything in our power to benefit her. Through that entire journey God was ahead of us and Emily. Emily was placed into a high functioning autistic inclusion program that was just being started in the fall of her Kindergarten year. Later that year, we found out that all six slots for that class were filled but a parent decided at the last minute to not advance her child and all the personnel suggested Emily based on that 1 month of summer school after her evaluation. God is good! She has an amazing teacher and aides for her 2 years there. 

When Emily was mainstreamed back into general education, God was again making the way. This was the first time we had any "opposition" in what we felt was right for Emily and that was to repeat 1st grade. They did approve what we suggested and praise God Emily's performance that year showed them this was the right choice. Her 1st grade teacher was everything she needed to make that crucial transition and she will always have a special place in our hearts. Emily continued to show major progress in 2nd and 3rd grade.

During all this time, I have to admit I was Emily's safety net.  I made sure she was doing things correctly.  I was there by her side checking......keeping her from any kind of failure and when it did happen (she did get a few low grades and her 1st F last year) we worked together harder. Emily still managed to end the year with all A's & B's. But did I help too much?

Because of how far Emily progressed and knowing it was God's wanting, we enrolled her in HCS this year.  She will be being evaluated for a new IEP by a new team and we will have a new caseworker but I know God has got that!

So, now comes the big change. Time for Emily to take the wheel. Tonight, Emily had her first major night of homework. She proudly told me that while Matt and I were vegging together she did her home work. I asked her about the History and Bible quiz she has later in the week and she confidently told me "I know it". Then, I asked if she wanted me to check her math or to let it go in as is and she said "I did it mom, let it go". The time has come to let her steer her own boat and for me to step off. Emily's confidence is strong and I need to show her that I trust in her confidence as much as she does. Yes, I will keep track of quiz & test dates, and I'll ask her if she wants or needs help but it is time to let her learn from her own work and to be blessed in the ways God wants to bless her.  No, if the grades take a plummet, I'm not going to let it go unnoticed but I will work with her to find out how she can turn it around and how she can change things.....it is time for her to be the captain of her own boat and to stand up fearlessly in the face of things and know that she has a family that is beside her and a God that will guide her through but not walk her walk that is up to her!

I remember this trip as if it was yesterday - it was 2007 and Matt's 2nd birthday.Dave surprised us with a trip in a sail boat. I remember the fearlessness of Emily as she stood at the side as the boat was half way on its side riding the waves. Today, I saw and heard that same fearlessness. I know I can let her steer this boat, I'll just be on the radio if she needs me.

An Incredible Treat

I'm still on vacation here at the lake with the kids. Dave was able to come back and spend the day with us on Wednesday.

He gifted me the most awesome day of 5 hours of reading in this big comfy chair that I turned to face the lake outside our window. 

On Tuesday, I had started this book "Lies Women Believe" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.  I was so glad to have the quiet to read this book as it really spoke to me.  

There are so many things I have gotten out of this book the biggest thing I took away, which I "knew" but has been made more clear to my heart, is that "It is not all about me, it is all about Him".  There are so many facets to this book that have touched my heart:  God is always good; my role as a wife is to be my husband's helper and the best way I can do that is through submission to his authority; my role as a woman is being a mother; I'm responsible for my behaviors, responses and choices (no blame shifting); garbage in, garbage out - I must guard my heart and mind; personal holiness is more important than temporal happiness; it is impossible to be godly without suffering and suffering is an essential tool in the hand of God to conform us to the image of His Son; God's plans and purposes far exceed the things that I have planned and He does give me enough time in the day to do what He has for me - I just need to "hear" His to do list and put my to do list aside. 

This is a book I will definitely keep going back.  It reveals the lies that Satan wants us to believe and shows the Truth God reveals through His Word.

I would recommend that every woman read this book.  What you take away from it will be personal to you but I would be shocked if you do not come away with a changed heart. I know I did!! 

Reading Selections

Emily's Selections

I can tell my kids are growing up just by the books they selected from the library. 

Emily is now reading chapter books. She was so thrilled to find this book "Charlotte in Paris".  If you know Emily, you know how much she loves Paris!!! She already asked if we can purchase more books from the Beacon Street Girls series. I told her when she gets through reading this book from the library we will discuss it further. Now the "Little House in the Big Woods" book was one that I chose for her.  I told her how this was one of the books in the Laura Ingalls Wilder series that I read when I was her age.  She looked at it and took it somewhat reluctantly.  I am happy to say though that last night after reading a few pages she said how much she likes it and can't wait to read "Little House on the Prairie".

Matt's selections are a little less challenging but so him.  Although he chose "The Eye Book" first, last night he told me that he likes "Ten Apple Up on Top" better.  

Me, I am just happy that the kids tend to enjoy reading.  They have a month before needing to return them so we will see how far Emily gets with her books.  Matt, he'll be ready for new books for sure.  

Matt's Selections

A New Order

I've been meaning to get on here to blog but my days and nights have been filled with a flurry of activity.

Monday I started a new cleaning schedule as suggested in this book "The Good Wife's Guide" by Darlene Schacht. It seemed pretty straightforward and not as labor intensive.

A few tasks are done every day such as making sure beds are made, dishes done and laundry. Then throughout the day, you complete three 10 minute "tidy sessions" and one "shed your junk" session. Each day has a main task......Monday, the first day of the week is the bathrooms - my most disliked task!!! Tuesday the bedrooms, Wednesday the kitchen, Thursday grocery/errand day and Friday vacuuming and mopping all floors plus cleaning any common rooms that haven't been completed. Saturday is for outdoor yard work, garage and car clean up.

Sunday is church and family day.

I was excited to start it and even after a very full week (with one day and the weekend to go), I'm still pretty happy with the schedule.

Here is my issue which I'm sure all of you are well aware of my issue.....I can't just do things on a small scale.

The bathroom day was pretty straightforward. Did I like it....not in the least!! LOL!! I was able to spend my afternoon cutting the materials I needed for a banner I have to complete by Friday for a bridal shower. Oh, did I mention that I spent up until 11 shopping for cutting blades for my Cricut so I could cut above said materials. Cleaning started later than what I wanted but it got accomplished!

My big issue came on bedroom day. One of the things I love that she suggests in her book is that the bedrooms should be clutter free and havens for rest. Well, I'm not a clutter person but my book collection has grown and my dresser top was getting a little over taken by things. So, I was determined to clear things out. Our bedroom alone took me most of the morning. Boy, that doesn't sound like it should be that big of a deal but I failed to mention that this "decluttering" led to cleaning out the linen closet, my entire bedside table and the storage area behind our bed. I was able to do a quick dusting and vacuuming of the kids rooms....thankfully their rooms were still intact from the deep clean we did during winter break.

Yesterday was the kitchen...once again I couldn't do it small.... I ended up cleaning out all the drawers, the snack area and the cabinet above the fridge. Relocated some small appliances. Of course, I had to reorganize my cookbooks located in the dining room cabinet and because I had a few in the storage cube in the living room that became a cleaning target also and the rest of the books located in the living room. I told you I can't do SMALL!!! I did get time before getting the kids to do some more work on the banner - which I completed while the kids were at AWANA last night and delivered this morning.

Today I did the grocery shopping, ran a few errands then came home to work in my craft room. I have some "undone" projects that I wanted to get working on and I started cleaning out unneeded scrapbooks now that I will be doing Project Life.

So, as you can see my days have been filled and my nights well lets just say homework and dinner.....that pretty much sums up the evenings.

I do think this new schedule will get easier after all sooner or later I will have simplified our home so much I won't be able to go BIG!!! Yeah, right ......I'll always be going big if not in my home, someone else's.

Reading More

In the last week, I've been trying to "unplug" and do more reading of books that status updates. I have also started leaving the house at 2:30 to go to the kids school and read while I wait for their 3:05 dismissal.

One of the books I completed just the other day is this book by Sara Horn called "My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife".

It is a light read of a woman doing a year long experiment on trying to emulate the Proverbs 31 wife and her results.

My usual book selection are ones where I receive directions or useful tips that I can implement in my life. It wasn't until the final chapter that I found my "tidbit" of wisdom to write down, post and live by. Here it is: "Saying we need balance implies making things equal. And God is not equal with anything. Or anyone. God comes first. Period. And by placing Him first, the rest comes together."

How true is this!!! When our focus is on God, everything else in life will come together just as He has planned......not always as we had planned but if we are walking with Him and in Him what we have "planned" is what God has planned for us.

Oh on a side note - my "unplugging" is from my MAC and Facebook not from my new Kindle Fire where I am downloading new reading material. Also, I have a new commitment to making sure I keep blogging to keep you all up to date. You can still call and talk to us though, even though you know most of the happenings of our lives. :)