On Friday when coming out of his classroom, Matt handed me a paper and said "here". Most papers come in his Friday folder, so I was curious what he was handing me. I read the title on the page "2nd grade spelling bee practice word list". Matt was one of the 2nd grade students chosen to participate in the spelling bee their school hosts.
I spoke briefly with his teacher regarding his spelling ability. I have noticed that I don't need to go over his spelling words with him for his Friday tests. The weekly work he does copying them seems to saturate his brain on how the words are spelled. Recently I've noticed him trying to spell Emily's words as I review them with her for her weekly test. As a matter of fact, sometimes we will do "quiz offs" where I give them a word and if the one can't spell it, it goes to the other. Most of the time, I give Matt the "easier" words but what surprises me is for never having studied the words he tends to spell them correctly.
During our car ride home from school, I told him what an honor it was to be asked to be in the spelling bee and explained how one works, as he has never participated in a spelling bee. Of course, being a 7 year old boy he intends to "win a trophy". I chose my words wisely as I explained that winning is not important but doing your best is what is expected. He still expects to win a trophy. Oh, the age of confidence!!
Of course, Emily was in the car during this conversation. She had checked her folder to see if she had gotten a list or a letter regarding the spelling bee. She did not.
This is one of the hard jobs as a mom - being excited for one child and encouraging them while another is feeling left out or dare I say inadequate. I noticed her quietness so I asked her if she was bothered by the fact she wasn't chosen. She said a quiet, "maybe". Another moment to choose my words wisely. I explained that each of us is made differently and we are sometimes better at one thing than another. I told her that where Matthew is good at spelling, she is good at art - which she quickly corrected me to "fashion designing". Yes, I agreed whole heartedly "you are an excellent fashion designer". I explained to both of them how they need to support each other in the things they do well and cheer each other on in doing their best.....that is what is important! Our conversation didn't last much longer as they changed the topic as usual to something silly.
Although the moment was "uncomfortable", I found my ground in this mothering moment. I want to be able to express my excitement for each of my kid's individual abilities in the presence of the other child and for them to be excited for their siblings accomplishments without feeling inferior. In order to include Emily in this, I will have her help Matt study some of his words. By helping him, I'm hoping she will feel she is assisting him in his accomplishment. So, if he does well she can be a part of the celebration and if he doesn't she can tell him how well he did in trying.
By the way, the spelling bee is on February 1st and we'll let you know how he does. In the meantime, we will be studying our w-o-r-d-s.
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